Something funny happened to me yesterday I have to tell you about. Every Friday my husband and I go shopping and then out to eat. It's been a thing in our family when the kids were little to either eat out on Fri. night or order out. Most of the time it was order out because of my disability.
The kids are now gone but Frankie and I still keep up the tradition. In recent years I have added the shopping. There isn't a lot of grocery shopping but some. In fact when I or he needs to go somewhere we go together. I guess you could say this is not a good thing for a agoraphobic. It ends up being another dependent thing we do.
Now you all know by now I have had at least a 90% success rate with my prism glasses so you would think I would be all over the place. Not so much. I have pretty much desentized my self to the grocery store. I am 98% sure I will not get dizzy and fall over there anymore. I can walk away from the cart and not suffer separation anxiety. Frankie can be at one end of the store and I can be at the other and this is no problem. The big problem comes in when I am in the store alone!
Monophobia any one? I realize I have this. I didn't even know the name of it until I was in a support group and a girl there had it. Isn't it great the way we have a name for everything? In my house I can stay alone all day but at night all bets are off. I have a really hard time being alone at night. This could be my next big challenge.
Back to the funny thing that happened yesterday. On the way home from shopping and eating Frankie says I'm getting tired of driving I think I will give my license up. I knew he wasn't serious I knew he was trying to get a rise out of me. Then he told me I should do the driving because I will be taking the driving test in a couple of years and I need practice. Immediately that old feeling of being totally useless came over me and now I am trying to explain why I can't drive. Then it hit me. WHAT! This is the reason I wrote the book. He's the one who cried when he read it and said he should have helped more. All of a sudden he forgot all that and reverted back to his old way of thinking. ( I should just do it.) I then reminded him that I loved to drive and in the first years of our married life I did all the driving. He said he remembered and was sorry he said that.
We are so sensitive as agoraphobics to any little thing we can't do things like this bother us for days. My problem with driving and my eyes are my depth perception. Try driving with a problem like that. I actually have to remind myself that I indeed have a physical problem that prohibits me from doing things. I do go short distances driving but long ones throw me. But I think it is time to test the driving waters again and see if things have improved. Dr. Debbie put in a new horizontal prism the last time I was there maybe that made a difference. I will keep you informed.
Just one last thing. What I wanted to say to him was "I think it is time you cooked I have been cooking for years! Hey us agoraphobics can be well, cured no. With prism glasses we can almost do everything everyone else does and be comfortable but not all. The trick is being comfortable and with my prism glasses for the first time in 45 years I am comfortable. I have to work at feeling comfortable at driving and staying home alone at night and in the stores. A big order for my 75 years.
The kids are now gone but Frankie and I still keep up the tradition. In recent years I have added the shopping. There isn't a lot of grocery shopping but some. In fact when I or he needs to go somewhere we go together. I guess you could say this is not a good thing for a agoraphobic. It ends up being another dependent thing we do.
Now you all know by now I have had at least a 90% success rate with my prism glasses so you would think I would be all over the place. Not so much. I have pretty much desentized my self to the grocery store. I am 98% sure I will not get dizzy and fall over there anymore. I can walk away from the cart and not suffer separation anxiety. Frankie can be at one end of the store and I can be at the other and this is no problem. The big problem comes in when I am in the store alone!
Monophobia any one? I realize I have this. I didn't even know the name of it until I was in a support group and a girl there had it. Isn't it great the way we have a name for everything? In my house I can stay alone all day but at night all bets are off. I have a really hard time being alone at night. This could be my next big challenge.
Back to the funny thing that happened yesterday. On the way home from shopping and eating Frankie says I'm getting tired of driving I think I will give my license up. I knew he wasn't serious I knew he was trying to get a rise out of me. Then he told me I should do the driving because I will be taking the driving test in a couple of years and I need practice. Immediately that old feeling of being totally useless came over me and now I am trying to explain why I can't drive. Then it hit me. WHAT! This is the reason I wrote the book. He's the one who cried when he read it and said he should have helped more. All of a sudden he forgot all that and reverted back to his old way of thinking. ( I should just do it.) I then reminded him that I loved to drive and in the first years of our married life I did all the driving. He said he remembered and was sorry he said that.
We are so sensitive as agoraphobics to any little thing we can't do things like this bother us for days. My problem with driving and my eyes are my depth perception. Try driving with a problem like that. I actually have to remind myself that I indeed have a physical problem that prohibits me from doing things. I do go short distances driving but long ones throw me. But I think it is time to test the driving waters again and see if things have improved. Dr. Debbie put in a new horizontal prism the last time I was there maybe that made a difference. I will keep you informed.
Just one last thing. What I wanted to say to him was "I think it is time you cooked I have been cooking for years! Hey us agoraphobics can be well, cured no. With prism glasses we can almost do everything everyone else does and be comfortable but not all. The trick is being comfortable and with my prism glasses for the first time in 45 years I am comfortable. I have to work at feeling comfortable at driving and staying home alone at night and in the stores. A big order for my 75 years.
Talk to you later, Yolanda
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